Hearing your loved ones say that they want to go home when they are in senior care is heart wrenching. It will pain you hearing them say these. Whether you heard them saying it over the phone, or you have personally heard it from them during your visit to the retirement community, it does not matter. You have to do something about it right away, knowing that being in that community is the best option for them at the moment.
Think of their Caregivers
The first thing that will come to mind when you hear your loved ones wanting to come home is to move them out of the retirement community all at once. Have you ever thought of how their caregivers feel if they have heard the same statement? They will feel like they are to be blamed about the situation. They will feel like something is lacking in them that is why your loved ones want to go home.
Instead of bringing them home right away, it is best to assure them they are actually home. Caregivers must likewise give them that assurance too. Never confront or argue with them about the situation. This will just worsen the situation, causing them to be resentful, and angry.
Never Explain Reality to Your Loved One
It is your role to accept whatever statements they say or questions they ask. Never explain that things are like these that is why they need to stay there. You cannot change their minds, and even when you try to do so, it can just cause them to resort in behaviors that will even be harder to deal with. They will feel frustrated and agitated about it.
Do Not Feel Guilty about What they Say
Your loved ones may just utter words that will break your heart. Much more than the pain you will feel, the feeling of guilt will again bother you. Remember that it is not them who is actually talking. They may be bothered by their specific condition that is causing them to say all of those things. Don’t use those words to make you create uncertainty. Use them to get to the bottom line of the situation, that is, what is causing them to want to go home.
Think of Ways to Improve the Situation
Work with team members or the assisted living community, in general, to know what is causing them to back out from being there. You can work on ways to improve the situation altogether. Continue being firm with your decision, most especially if you have seen the hard work that the community had already done to make your loved ones feel better.
Make Sure You Take This as Part of the Experience
Never think of it as difficult and heartbreaking. Take it as a rewarding experience instead. It must be more of enjoyable, uplifting, and interesting despite the roller coaster of emotions that come with the decision. The only way to succeed is not to give up on it easily, even when you hear them say they want to come home.
